Sarah Vance of Sudbury

You ever go into a restaurant and there’s a 30-something year-old hating their life standing behind the counter? They stink of weed, they prepare your food with their tattooed hands, and you can see something crawling in their hair?

Better yet, you go to discount store and there’s a raggedy 50 year-old woman with faded tattoos from a long forgotten era who looks like she’s daydreaming of being drunk in a bar somewhere and licking beer off the floor?

This is a look into where it all begins.

This is Sarah Vance from Sudbury, Ontario. Can you guess which one is Sarah Vance?

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sarah vance sudbury

Here be some clues. She has a large waist, her camel toe is showing and during a drunken night of licking toilets, decided Christmas lights might be a nice tattoo to add to her body for the rest of her life. Employers are fast tracking her resume when they see those finger tattoos that scream “I’m a professional”.

Sarah Vance in her own words, is trash. She has no ambition, no life goals, no motivation, and spends most of her her days getting stoned and eating junk food. She might look nice but if you remove the 20 pounds of makeup crusted to her face, she’s a hag. I used to work with Sarah Vance in Walmart. We could always tell when she was waddling into work because her silly eyelashes would come through the door 10 minutes before she would. How can anyone cake on layers of crap to their eyes that they look like a raccoon?

Sarah Vance doesn’t work at Walmart no more. She was fired. She was caught giving fellatio to a customer in the change rooms of the clothing section.

sarah vance sudbury

Oh my gawd becky look at the size of those thighs. This chick would crush your couch. Great life decisions Sarah, definitely need more tattoos and maybe a forehead one too.

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